rise, prosper & decline

her hands so cold
and made of clay and crumbling
breaking off her fingers
to mould me, scold me--
trying to hold me
or trying to hold me down?

my reactions come too soon
distracted by things that move me
eschewed by things to which I'm most attracted
impacting me unevenly

a sigh sends a kiss across the room
as if bourne upon a feather
a kiss that might bring about
a needed change to the weather
something beautiful...hangs in the air forever

are we ruined artifacts, just ancient fossils?
there's little value
if the total measure of our interaction
amounts to a crucial lack of pleasure or satisfaction

we will be forgettable
if the only impact we both make on anyone
is only the impact that we made
upon each other

a sigh that sends a kiss across the room
floating on a feather
a kiss with might enough to change the weather
so something beautiful may linger here

infractions come past due again
distracted by the things that doom me
soon to be entombed by those to whom I'm most detracted
impacting me directly...

a chain will keep us slaves enslaved together
no matter whether we can stand the pain of being tethered
each of us has tried to be the master
of the other's fate forever

we seem to value control more than our own freedom
and knowing this doesn't help us see it
we just keep piling up our things around us
so we don't see

a sigh once sent a hopeful kiss across a room
like it was guided by a weather vane
we thought that kiss could change everything
something that was supposed to last

the chain that keeps the slaves as slaves together
still hoping for that drastic change of weather
each of us will always be the master
of the other's fate forever--

while outside
cultures rise
prosper
and decline

bleeding

and so you try not to notice her (you can't help but notice)
she's got a home but it's not yours (no longer yours)
and all the things that spin her around (spin around)
none belong to you
this quiet evasion--
you in your pinhole frame
counting your punctures
and trying not to notice you're bleeding

the one who holds her now is
thin and made of plastic (she's thin and full of nails)
pieces of you die every time that you see them (and you see them all the time)
and you wonder what you're made of
and how much of it remains
eyeing her scratches
and trying not to notice she's bleeding

angels fill every chair in your orchestra
playing your grande finale
each movement, another part of your torment
and you know that it all must end
and it softens for your demise
you see the angels——
but you try not to notice they're bleeding

---

a piss before dying

she asks you if you'd like a drink
you nod and politely say, "thanks"
you check to see what the time is
and that's when you hear the explosion
and the flight attendant leaves her feet
the drink cart follows her out of view
and the plane feels like a die
in the hand of a titan

and you're glad you left your seat belt fastened
because people are tossed like leaves in a whirlwind
and the woman sitting next to you--unknown until now--
reaches out and clutches your arm

and the warning lights have come on
the oxygen masks fall from the ceiling
you think to look out the window
and see the ground is looming much too fast
and you hear another really loud noise
the cabin fills up with fumes from the burning
you could pass out from all this excitement
but you want to meet death with both eyes

you watch the other passengers panic
their screaming and crying fade from awareness
now you really wish you had gotten that drink
when you realize you need to hit the toilet
and you laugh because it seems too funny in this situation--
a piss before dying...

and you wonder if anyone will live
and if you'll be among the survivors
your life is left to nothing but chance
and you hope the titan rolls a seven
that's when you hear an even louder explos--

---

last little bit

great, like the wind that blows no air
felt like the hope that goes nowhere
without any apology, receding away
from the aches of labor and the heat of the day
lost like the villain headed straight for the grave
lacking redemption or even the will to be saved
away from the wholesome, away! away! away!

the nightmares begin as days never end
once strong connections break--
break and don't mend
so much to consider, then nothing done
all in the name of experience
lost in the name of fun
a race with you the only runner--
still you can't win

such toll taken on your mind
not a wise move if, truly, you are the last of your kind
seems only the craven heed warnings
the drug is the naked lady
and you're so fucking horny
all this in the name of wasting
your quickly disappearing precious time

the nightmares begin...

so much respect seemingly bought for and paid to the whores
when desperate souls pack their pockets with narcotics,
sail in sinking boats,
and wash up dead on our free shores
in this place, home to the bulk of this world's idiots
if you make it through alive
you only trade your despair for misery
your despair for misery
is this fair?

the nightmares begin as days never end
such strong connections fail as you give in
so much unconsidered, still nothing done
you claimed the experience when all you sought was fun
this race with you its only runner
and still you can't win

great, like the wind that blows no air...

---

if you loved me, you would change

it goes without saying
that you'll say without knowing:
"with this ring...i am dead"

"if you loved me...
if you really loved me," she said
"if you loved me, you would change"

it's hard to see
and even harder to feel
you know that it's nothing
but you hope that it's for real

"if you loved me...
if you really loved me," she said
"if you loved me, you would change"

it goes without saying
and you'll say without ever knowing:
"with this ring...i am dead"

monsters

hey lady, what are you afraid of?
is there something chasing after you?
your nightmares feed on you like vampires
did you invite them inside?
did you think that you were safe here?
the monsters can't stop laughing!
did you bring me here to slay your memories?
am I monster enough to take that task?

I haven't seen any ghosts here
other than the ones that try to escape you
taking drugs to ease the pain of which we're unaware
your nightmares will lead us to ruin

hey baby what are you ashamed of?
are the rumours finally catching up with you?
did you bring me here to protect you
from all the monsters gathered around your window?
did you think that we'd escape here?
that I would be the one you followed home?
disorientation was mistaken for bravery
do we now exist only in your nightmares?

I haven't seen that many ghosts here
that weren't just our very own reflections
taking drugs to feel the pain--
just something to keep me aware
since you've brought me here to make your nightmares mine

did you think that you were safe here?
the monsters can't stop laughing!
did you perceive me medicated as some kind of savior?
how long until I become just another one of your monsters?

all I see around here are zombies
they're all that's left of all your former lovers
taking drugs to escape the pain--
if you're not, well then you should be--
since you're driven to see all your nightmares come true!

I was dead, or I was dying
you were there and you were trying
to finish the job they started
yes, I know...drugs are bad
I didn't care, they were all I had
to make your nightmares stay away for a little longer...
now do you understand?

---

nihilist

you seem nervous
you'll feel better once you take your clothes off
the apprehension of a strange new scene
and from being there with...me

i don't care how long you stay
it won't be anything to lose you
everything should end this way
i'm just here to use you

you'll only get hurt
when you don't know what you're after
such a pretty flower with such low self-esteem
filling the room with...worried laughte

i don't care how long you stay
it wasn't anything to choose you
everything should end this way
i'm just here to use you

since you're already here
how do you feel about inappropriate surpises?
there's not that much to fear
but it might just blow your mind

no one is really who they seem to be
your innocence might just wind up killing me
no special reason why i chose you
(such a pretty flower with such low self-esteem)
i just decided that you'd do...me...in...

now you're trembling
you'll feel better once you've pulled the trigger
just leave me here on the floor
there are people paid to clean the mess up for you

i don't care how long you stay
it won't be anything to lose you
everything should end this way
i'm just here to use you
i don't care how long you stay
it wasn't anything to choose you
everything should end this way
i'm just here to use you

---

judas

if i were you then i'd not be so obvious
your confidence betrayed by trembling hands
you've worked so hard at seeming so impervious
to the spreading specter's shadowy demands

you'll feel them crawling all over you
and then you'll find your way...away from here

if souls could bleed then you would be emaciated
from self-inflicted wounds cut deep inside
the world, a cage in which you're forever incarcerated
the only doorway is but a razor wide

you'll feel them crawling all over you
and then you'll find your way...away from here